AsianPersuasion
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Sticky Fingers
Well, well, well. It turns out my Pilipino maid has been stealing things from my room. Bitch. Her name is Helen and she’s overweight and speaks broken English. She is married to an Indian guy named Nathan. If anyone out there stumbles upon this person, DO NOT HIRE HER. Unless, you want some of your clothing, valuables and money to go missing.
For two freaking years I have been catching Helen in a multitude of lies ranging from her lying about coming to our house, when in fact she didn’t come to clean, to lying about breaking dishes and glasses in the house. She CONSTANTLY fibs…it’s amazing how someone can live ones life…being totally dishonest almost everyday and lying mercilessly to their employer on a regular basis.
Ok, so everyone tells a white lie here and there…you know… “sorry, I can’t go out tonight, I have work to do” or “can’t make it to the party, I’m really tired,”… things like that are forgivable. But flat out telling un-truths to people’s faces about important stuff…is fucked up.
For the past two years, Helen has been dishonest about many things and she has acted inappropriately in our home. Here is how my household has be “Helenized.”
• She helps herself to food in house anytime she wants. Once she took home half a chocolate cake I baked for my mother. Another time she brought back the last piece of turkey from my mom’s birthday party which my mom was saving for her because it’s her favourite, and she didn’t get a chance to eat any at her party. Last year, she helped herself to some chicken in the freezer and didn’t tell me about it. I found out later when I came home to cook dinner for my cousin and I… when I realized, oh shit…there isn’t enough chicken for the two of us.
• In our house, there used to be a plethora of glasses…like over 40 glasses. Now, there are about 15 left. My set of 6 glasses I got from my dad, is now a set of two. I only know of one glass that has broken….mom and I have no idea what happened to the rest.
• When my mother goes on holiday, she doesn’t come to the house to clean. She’s even lied to my mom and said she came on a day when I was home all day. My mom still didn’t fire her.
• She broke my favourite flip flops (my dad bought me) and lied and said she didn’t. Helen likes to wear my flip flops when she’s watering the plants even though I’ve told her not to.
This list can go on and on….but I will stop here. Over the last two years, Helen has told many fibs…but unfortunately, because my mom thinks it’s so “hard to find good help,” she has turned a blind eye to Helen’s deceit….until yesterday.
Caught Red Handed:
I was downstairs in my soon-to-be new apartment…when I spotted Helen sitting on the steps downstairs….(apparently she freakin’ works there for some clueless person). As I walked past her, I noticed she was wearing really cool pants…so I took a closer look. HOLY SHIT! They were MY pair of favorite pants… so I said, “Helen, are those my pants?” and of course the imbecile said, “No, not yours.”
I walked right up to her and took a very close look…proceeded to check the back of the pants for the brand tag…. “Breakdown”! Fuck! They were mine!!! A friend of mine gave me those pants in London. I was pisses as hell….the stupid bitch had gone into my room and helped herself to my pants…and thinking I would never catch her…wore them at her other workplace. I stormed out of the apartment complex and rushed home to inform my mother.
So, my mom called Helen and arranged a meeting in our house and told her to bring the pants (actually they are track suit trousers). Finally, after and hour, Helen arrived at our house….the pants were handed over….BUT…as I began to inspect my stolen clothing…I noticed she had carefully CUT OUT the brand tag I had just seen and hour earlier! And she had also pulled out the thread binding together the elastic on the waist…I was, and still am FURIOUS, that she totally ruined my track suit bottoms to try and cover her lying ass…in a desperate attempt to disguise my stolen pants.
What Helen didn’t know, is that there was a rip in the bottom right side of one pant leg. So I quickly checked…low and behold…there it was…my very familiar little rip. I was even MORE angry at that point.
*SIGH* Helen OF COURSE lied to my mother’s face and mine and said my mom had given her those pants months before…RIGHT! She tried with all her might to convince my mother that she had not in fact, gone into my room and taken my pants. Helen then began to cry and tell us about how her brother was dying and how she couldn’t get a job…blah blah blah…(well, maybe if she didn’t steal things and lie everyday…she would have a job). She put on a great show…and she almost convinced ME and my mom that she didn’t steal…but…the truth prevailed.
Helen was fired right after her oscar-winning “not guilty” performance. If any of you find that you’re missing things around the house…and feel like you’re going mad because you could have sworn you left it in a certain place…don’t be so hard on yourself, if it’s not in your house…it’s at your maid’s place.
