AsianPersuasion
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
EVIL lurks nearby...
Since my one, lone papaya tree is causing Ms. Wong so much anguish...One of my fantasies pertaining to "The Papaya Saga" is to go buy 20 more very tall, grown papaya trees (already bearing an abundance of fruit) and transplant them into my back garden. I would ask my gardener to plant them all in a row along my back fence separating Ms. Wong's house and mine. I would then sit patiently in my room with a video camera and wait for her reaction to my brand new Papaya Army. How classic would that be?! I think there’s a movie script in this…
Monday, October 06, 2003
God Save My Papaya Tree
Oh My GAWD! I have the rudest neighbor EVER!
Mrs. Wong hates plants and my mom happens to LOVE her garden…so our gardener plants a few things in our back garden. First, we had a large fern. Then the stupid neighbor woman wrote a letter to my mother and asked her to cut it down. We did. Then we planted small trees all in a row. The fucking woman asked my mother to uproot all 6 of them. My mother obliged.
So the other day I was sitting at the computer tapping away when all of a sudden I heard loud thumping sounds coming from my garden. I looked outside to see my neighbor’s Indian maid (standing on a chair) leaning over the wall that separates our two back garden… PLUCKING the papayas off our tree with a long stick!!!!!
“What the hell are you doing?!” I shouted at her.
I gave the maid such a fright; she looked like she had seen Elvis. Immediately she retreated with embarrassment.
Then I saw the BITCH, who is a 65 year old hateful Chinese woman, through her upstairs window and I said to her,
“What are you doing to my papaya tree?”
“Well, musangs (civit cats) come and eat the papayas off your tree and then they shit on the roof of my house,” she said. “I don’t like to complain but can you ask your gardener to cut the tree down?”
WHAT!!!?? Don’t like to complain!!? Was she serious? So does that give her the right to reach into my garden and shake my papaya tree so 10-15 of the biggest fruits fall to the ground...damaging my banana tree and birds of paradise directly underneath!??! I was, and still am, infuriated! The impudence of that woman!
Despite catching her in, what I thought to be, an extremely shameful act…she has continued this disgraceful ritual of shaking my poor tree (in the wee hours of the morning no doubt) making my back garden look like a papaya graveyard.
Not only have I caught her doing it…my maid AND the next door neighbor’s maid have witnessed this heinous act on several accounts.
OK…this is where I need YOUR help my fellow readers…what should I do?
A. Gather each and every one of the fallen fruits and throw them over the fence into HER garden.
B. Ring her doorbell and proceed to shout obscenities at her in front of the entire neighborhood.
C. Plant more papaya trees.
D. You give a suggestion.
